Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Ever thought...

...About how different things could be had one circumstance turned out differently?  The past 4-5 years have had change after change, decision after decision.  What would my life be like now if...

i was still with my ex?  my sister didn't have a baby the summer after I graduated high school? i went to central right after high school like I had originally planned?  i never went to st. ben's.  i never went to central at all.  i never left minnesota. i started teaching after my college graduation. never nannied. never met adam.  never got back together with adam.  t

The list could go on and on.  The reality is, I decided not to go to Central right away and took a winding road to it.  I am SO happy i'm not with my ex, SO happy.  i'm glad i didn't teach, because I wouldn't be able to move, i'd be stuck in that job until june.  as for never leaving minnesota, i'm still dealing with that.  i miss seeing my girls.  i want to be there to cheer them on, help them with their homework, have sleep overs at my apartment with them, and just spoil them in every way i can. i know i can still do some of this, if not all of it, but it's different being this far away.  i will ALWAYS be torn by it.  life is hard, it's rewarding  but i feel like i'm always giving something up for something new, something i think is right.  i can always hope they are the right decisions but only time will tell.

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